If you don’t choose the right partner, you’ll never reach the "golden bliss" (brain orgasm).
Moreover, you won’t be able to find love, trust, and intimacy all at once. Today, many people look
for traits like power, money, attractiveness, a muscular body, and luxury cars in a man. However, the
definition of power can be misleading. True power doesn’t come from wealth, bullying, or violence.
Nor does it come from being tied to a higher authority or being born into a wealthy family.

Redefine the Strong Man
True power arises from a man’s connection with his own divine power (his relationship with God).
This connection cannot be measured by his physical actions or his avoidance of alcohol, as each soul
is at a different point in its journey. A man who has genuinely united with his Creator maintains his
life comfortably through his own effort, without relying on authority or straying into deceit, violence,
or darkness.

Such a man has already achieved financial independence, has opened his heart, learned to love, and
doesn’t fear women. He has achieved success but isn’t focused on it; he is love-oriented,
compassionate, and respects his partner. He understands the importance of unity with his partner
and the energy of love and abundance, and he utilises it. This kind of man has left behind polygamy
and short-term or one-night-stand relationships, realizing these only drain his energy, and has freed
himself from dependence on pornography.

Who is the Right Woman?
When we talk about the right woman, you may wonder, "Right by whose standards?" Here, we mean
a woman who is ready to experience high-level intimacy, love, and trust pole in a single relationship.

Those who have read my book The Alchemist of Emotions know that a person who hasn’t worked on
their subconscious, emotions, and beliefs will experience love in two distinct ways: they can’t find all
the qualities they seek in one person. Love and trust separate into two opposing poles. When a
partner who brings love arrives, they trigger fears, challenges, and tests. Despite this, the hormonal
and sexual attraction is intense, but the sexuality remains conventional.

On the trust side, a person can find all they spiritually seek in one partner, but without arousal. Our
hormones are programmed to help us clean our karma and learn our lessons, which makes trust
healing but not exciting.

The right woman can find both poles in one person. For her, outer attributes like money, power, or a
luxurious lifestyle no longer matter; only the attraction of energies and souls matters. Such a woman
has deeply embraced the traits of femininity. By femininity, I don’t mean sexiness or flirting but
rather the genuine qualities of feminine energy. You can read this in depth in another article I shared.

She embodies the stance of a goddess, has cleansed her wounds, and now acts with love rather than
pain. She doesn’t fear love but also doesn’t mistake every attraction for love, as desire and love can
be easily confused. When desire is mistaken for love, dependency begins because sexual energy
creates a powerful attraction. However, high-level intimacy requires entirely different dynamics.
Both men and women must learn to control their egos.

Such a Man and Woman
1. They are unhurried.
2. They have overcome their fears of loss and worthlessness.
3. They don’t feel the need to make every relationship work.
4. They keep their hearts open, loving fearlessly and accepting each other as they are.
5. They stand by their boundaries, no matter the passion they feel, and never allow them to be
crossed.
6. They express their limits clearly, confidently, yet softly and respectfully.
7. They let go of strategies and punishments.
When you become this woman, your poles of love and trust unite. You can learn more about
emotional alchemy on my website by clicking on the “emotional alchemy” button, or by doing the
exercises in my book, The Alchemist of Emotions.

Choosing the Right Partner in Tantra Training
The reason I’m sharing examples from these trainings is not to suggest that you should immediately
attend them but to emphasize their importance, allowing you to understand what you should focus
on. You’re not required to try out these exercises yourself.

I’ll share two exercises with you, both offered outside of Turkey.
Dance
In the first exercise, a large group of students has their eyes covered and is sent into a big room.
Professional therapists are present, following the participants and explaining the rules.

For 20 minutes, dance music will play. With their eyes closed, participants will instinctively approach
and dance with someone they feel drawn to. They won’t touch each other’s sexual areas, only dance.
They can talk, but they won’t engage in physical intimacy. Each pair can dance for up to 30 seconds,

no more. Therapists gently intervene if participants find it hard to let go. Participants then move on
to other partners.

When the exercise ends, they open their eyes and try to identify who they felt drawn to.

What Do We Learn?
 Without visual, superficial, material, or aesthetic concerns, kundalini energy naturally guides
us toward a compatible partner. Amongst the crowd, it signals the right match through a
subtle electric current and a desire to touch and be close, revealing who can balance our
masculine and feminine energies.
 Our self-judgements mislead us. When our own self-judgments disappear, we can express
our genuine energy to others, uninhibited by how we perceive our bodies.
 The exercise also shows us that energy, not appearance, is what truly attracts us.
 Touch

Another, bolder exercise is practiced abroad, where participants work on becoming comfortable with
their own bodies and shedding feelings of shame. In this exercise, the men’s eyes are covered, and
they lie down side by side. The women walk past them, touching the men they are drawn to. The
men, unable to see or know who is touching them, sense whether or not they feel attraction through
energy alone. If a man doesn’t want to be touched, he says, “No.”
The woman continues without discomfort and moves on to someone else.
Then the women then cover their eyes and experience being touched and chosen.

What’s the Purpose?
 To understand that we aren’t tied to a single partner.
 To realize that rejecting someone isn’t bad or guilt-inducing.
 To accept that we won’t be judged for saying no.
 To understand that not every touch implies a concession.
 To learn how to retreat respectfully when someone says no.
 To sense and experience energetic attraction.

What Should We Learn?
It’s essential to learn the above points, but we don’t have to do it the same way. Simply knowing the
aim and context of these exercises helps us choose the right partner. Partners chosen purely for
desire, conditioning, or material reasons are usually short-lived. Especially the sexual connection is
likely to be short-lived. with little chance of a love-filled bond. Very low possibility that the partners
heart get to open.

As a criterion, consider this: how long can you kiss without aiming for intersourse or physical
intimacy? Perhaps a full day?
This can be a good starting point, or you might find another criteria. The main thing to focus on is
being able to engage in extended flirtation or foreplay without focusing on the climax.

With love,
Seda Diker